Skin Tag.

I have had no energy no desire to write about the things that are going on in my life. There has been plenty, plenty of things to write about but I haven't had the focus to write about them at any length.

However this morning, I've finally just snapped. Literally.

I have completely gone off the deep end. Fallen into the abyss, and when finally hitting the bottom, the light switch has finally turned on, and I feel like writing.

I go through phases. Phases where, like tying your shoelaces, I have to write an entry. Daily thoughts, stories, bizarreness that have to be put typed in because they have to be shared. Because these are stories that happen to me. They are funny, 9o percent of the time.

Then there are the phases where I just get on the internet, look at everything else under the sun, and ignore the little blogger button. It stares at me with its orangeness. It's not writer's block per se. Because the funny stuff still happens. I just don't feel like writing about it.

I've been ignoring the blogger button for more than a month. But this morning, when I woke up, I finally became so overwhelmed. I just freakin' snapped.

All because of a skin tag.

This is a story not for the squeamish. So from the world famous Wikipedia, I got this...

Acrochordons, or skin tags, are small benign tumors that form primarily in areas where the skin forms creases, such as the neck, armpits, and groin. They also occur on the face, usually on the eyelids. They range in size from two to five millimeters, although larger ones have been seen. The surface of acrochordons may be smooth or irregular in appearance. Often, they are raised from the surface of the skin on a fleshy stalk called a "peduncle."

Peduncle. Yeah, okay, so my grandmother happened to have a skin tag on the bridge of her nose. I woke up this morning at 7:57am, because I heard granny waking up to take her pills. So I got up as well. Because though I don't have to be up that early, I was awake. 7:58. I go to the bathroom, I have to wash my face because it feels weird. I forgot to wash it before I went to bed.

I come back downstairs, and see Granny. I go to check on her...

And skin tag drama ensues!!! DO you hear the Benny Hill music start? When anything remotely bad happens to Granny, I completely freak out. And the skin tag drama is no different. The mess that was made because of a tiny little freakin' skin tag is not even funny. Well it is funny now, now that the skin tag has finally decided to stop being evil and vexing to me.

What made it worse was there are no band-aids in the house. No really they're not, because someone decided to get rid of them all. AND NOT TELL ME. I MEAN COME ON. WHY DO YOU GET RID OF BAND-AIDS?! THEY DO NOT GO BAD.

Okay, I sort of feel better now.

But let me tell you, if you have a skin tag. Go get that sucker professionally removed. Don't be pulling it off like an 88 year old woman who's got nothing better to do.

The end.